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Fed up of being single? Another wedding leaving you blue? Struggling with sexual purity? Surely the godly plan is to pray. So should we be asking God for a husband or wife?

Well, yes and no. Let’s look at Philippians 4 for a little Bible wisdom.

#1 Praying for a spouse is ok, praying about our anxieties is essential

God says we shouldn’t be anxious about anything, and so we should bring our anxieties to Him in prayer. Philippians 4v6: ‘The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.’

If your singleness is a source of anxiety; if you are discontented, and would rather God send you a spouse; then you absolutely must pray about it. Paul says you are not to stay anxious. So stop, pray to God about it right now.

Philippians does go further though - you can make requests to God about the thing making you anxious. You can pray requesting a husband or wife, but remember…

#2 God doesn’t promise a spouse, He promises something better

Philippians 4 is great because Paul shows God’s answer. Philippians 4:7: ‘And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’

The result of praying about our anxieties is… God will give us what we want? God will make us happy? No and no. The result of praying about our anxieties is a ‘safe peace’.

Philippians is about having a Jesus-centred mind-set ‘en-route’ to heaven. Chapters 3/4 talk about how this mind-set keeps Christians safe in hardship and standing firm until heaven. Philippians 4:2-9 details things which might hinder that Jesus centred thinking - things like anxiety.

God’s priority then, more than giving us a husband or wife, is to protect our thinking from the anxieties of this world including singleness. Simply praying for a spouse for now shows our priorities are way smaller than God’s. He wants to keep us for eternity! So stop, and pray bigger. Ask God for that ‘safe peace’, which will keep you, even if you’re single until heaven.

Personally, I have prayed for a husband. Now I’m learning to pray for something greater - a thought life full of Jesus, because it will keep me safe for heaven. I pray the same for you too.

Image: Nina Matthews